Team building ‘forced fun’ could also build resentment, create pushback

“Every year our department is required to have a ‘retreat’ for our teams at work — a day away with a ‘fun’ activity of some sort. My team has told me how much they hate it and I understand that. But senior level managers really push it and I’m afraid we will look bad if we don’t do it. ”

After two years of virtual “fun” events on Zoom, including remote trivia games, digital cards, virtual happy hours and Zoom meetups, many companies are eager to return to traditional in-person “off-sites” or “retreats,” they have traditionally used to help engage employees and help them feel more invested in their work.

Indeed, the whole “off-site” or “retreat” industry Is picking up steam again with retreat planning companies fielding lots of calls and inquiries from companies that have been saving money on office rent.

Itineraries look different now. Instead of hotel ballrooms and conference centers, off-sites or retreats include a lot more unstructured time with colleagues, perhaps in different locations with games and social activities. Those activities might include escape rooms, themed parties, water sports, or even helicopter rides and trips to interesting destinations out of the country, says Sean Hoff, chief executive officer of Moniker, a Toronto-based company specializing in helping companies build their cultures through “bucket-list” type experiences, including imaginative retreats and off-sites.

“What used to be a predominant theme of trying to stay in North America and Mexico or the Caribbean – they’re now asking us about Western Europe, Central Europe, Asia, South America, because once you get on a plane, the difference between a $600 flight and an $800 flight isn’t that much in terms of the cost to an organization,” he said in an interview with the “Worklife” newsletter.

Many companies consider these off-sites vital to offset endless Zoom calls, and an opportunity to really get to know people at a time when companies are more worried about employee retention than ever.

But even though these events are planned in the name of team building and engagement,  many people are not fans of what is commonly called  “forced fun.” One woman, quoted by the New York Post, was one of 25 who trekked to a ranch in Texas where employees from London, Paris, Mexico and San Diego could gather in the same time zone. She hated the experience, including the food, and found it “awkward” to share a cabin with her international colleagues.

Another person complained on Reddit about a “multi-day work retreat in the woods” in which team-building exercises dominated the itinerary. “There’s been little to no reprieve to be alone and recharge, because we are staying in a cabin, have to share a room with co-workers and were asked to cook mass meals for one another.”

“I feel like all these BS exercises are akin to being at a really long lecture where one person tries to sound more impressive and insightful than the next, but really everyone’s saying the same thing, just in different ways. Not being jazzed to participate as actively as others makes me feel like I’m being a negative Nancy,” she says. “But it’s just not in my makeup to want to sing kumbaya by a fire with co-workers.”

So, is it time to ask senior managers to take your team’s concerns seriously?  Some researchers would say yes. A fascinating study published in 2021 in the Journal of Social Networks by the University of Sydney School of Project Management found that if employees feel these activities are mandatory and consider them the bane of their work lives, then the potential benefit of these events is in question.

“Among the participants we interviewed, some were against team-building exercises because they felt they were implicitly compulsory and did not welcome management’s interest in their lives beyond their direct work performance,” researchers said.

“Many people do not want to be forced into having fun or making friends, especially not on top of their busy jobs or in stressful, dysfunctional environments where team building is typically called for. People can feel that management is being too nosy or trying to control their life too much.”

But the culture of “forced fun” has a long history. For years, many companies have tried to build in more fun into their work environments, some even adding beer on tap and ping-pong tables, which encouraged people to stay at work longer on a daily basis. “Nobody wants to be told, ‘It’s Hawaiian shirt day!’ and then you’re a pariah if you don’t participate,” said Adrian Gostick, an executive leadership coach and author in an interview with the BBC.

Such thinking even creates a type of “cult,” experts say, where people don’t raise questions, pretend to have fun and provide many fake smiles. Researchers in the Journal of Social Networks study recommended allowing people to opt out of team-building activities and focus their energy on building key relationships in the company.  Spending time building relationships with people you aren’t close to is more effective than general team building, they said.

“An important point is to target the right relationships and we can do that by analytically identifying critical links in collaboration and communication networks among employees,” researchers said.

Some of the negative feelings about company-sponsored team-building events were exacerbated by the pandemic. Regular conference room meetings and working lunches ended and in their place came an appreciation for working effectively without “forced fun” and the need to address work-life balance.

Many employees hated the virtual team-building activities that managers organized during the pandemic. “I think the pandemic has made us a little angrier, a little more cynical overall and people just aren’t putting up with things they consider annoying as much anymore,” Gostick said.

But during the pandemic shut-down, there was a little more room for unexpected employee-led activities and events that employees actually enjoyed doing rather than those that were dictated by the people at the top. Gostick told the BBC, for example about the major American corporation holding weekly “wine and whine” parties on Zoom, where they could complain about their work weeks. Those events allowed workers to “blow off steam” and let go of some frustrations.

“Companies know they need to be looking for ways to bring people together that feels more authentic,” he told the BBC.  “It’s not about just planning a party. It’s about making it meaningful and making people actually  want to be there.”

So maybe it’s about listening closely to your team about what would make sense, advocating for some possible changes that could include continuing pandemic traditions that actually worked or planning others that would make sense, given the group’s interests. One way or other, however, understand that some simply won’t attend and that’s OK. “It’s got to be no guilt, no obligation,” Gostick said.

Managers at Work is a monthly column exploring the issues and challenges facing managers. Contact Kathleen Driscoll with questions or comments by email at [email protected]